Why my life is very unhappy????

I live this world also got 21years n 4month oledi...but i feels unhappy on this world...is it many things got problem or cant solve to myself....I hate many things but i didnt courage say out n solve problem becos i know mission impossible.... I has write my dream tis year can go new place get my new life....can go far as my like better... no need care anyone feel,can do i like things...no need stay hse listen anyone noisy.... I wish can with my loved go to nobody know us can very peace get life....but i think this dream no come true....i know he dislike mi so y i want force his give up dream,parent,friend n everything of himself...when he didnt stay my side,i can miss him but after he come back this feeling lost liao.... When he at other area study,this feeling is very strange....Got want zhuan shu angel come to beside mi,an wei,care mi....Until he come back first,this feeling still got my side but nearly by 1 year this zhuan shu angel left my side already....I dun know y like that????i also feel strange unfeeling got any happen is coming soon.... I really dun want he got any happen to him....I know i will sad...Who can tel mi....I really dun know how to do n tel him....We meet in church every week but didnt chat few word....I isnt dun want talk with him but he very busy....I know we wil talk few word after wil qi zhen zhi.... I WANT CRY.....I DUN KNOW HOW TO DO?????WHO CAN TEL MI....I HAS THINK WANT LEAVE THIS PLACE GET MY NEW LIFE BEFORE....I GOT MANY MEMORIES THIS PLACE INCLUDING HAPPY N UNHAPPY.... C HOW FIRST LOH....CRY....